Mega-Post: My journey: from teaching to the coaching cult, and back
Gather ‘round kids - this is gonna be a long one. But if you’ve been a service provider who got roped into the “coaching” cult (/pyramid scheme), this might be for you.
SO!
From student to teacher
Many, many moons ago, I was a young second-year English Language & Lit student. One day, a neighbor approached me with a request to tutor her 15-year-old son in English for his school exams. I said yes, and this kickstarted a whole side-gig. Turns out, when people (mostly neighbors and acquaintances) found out what I was studying, a bunch of them wanted me to help their kids. This was my first foray into self-employment: tutoring kids just a few years younger than I.
It was good, for the most part - way better money per hour than I'd ever been paid at that point (you know...for doing things as thrilling as stacking shelves in supermarkets and serving people coffee), and I didn't have a boss. And I was even good at it and enjoyed teaching! What a neat little side gig.
From teacher to (struggling) actor
Now, it didn't even cross my mind as a potential full-time gig until I was 25. At that point I'd moved from Athens, Greece, to London, England. I'd been through drama school (East15 - #represent) and gotten my Master's Degree in acting. And during those 6 years, I'd sporadically taken on students; never too long because of how hectic and unpredictable my schedule was.
After I graduated drama school and found myself living in one of the world's most expensive cities (seriously: rents in London are absolutely batshit bananas crazy - look it up), I needed to start worrying about, you know...keeping a roof over my head. So I applied for all kinds of office jobs - call centers, customer service, admin jobs. I actually had an easy time getting them because I spoke three languages fluently and was educated and organized. So whenever I wanted a temp and/or part-time office gig between (mostly poorly paid) acting gigs, I had one.
So, once again, language tutoring didn't really show up on my radar as a viable career - for quite a while. Just a bit of pocket money here and there. And bear in mind: this was the early 2010s, so wayyyy before everyone went on Zoom. Back then, there was no location-independent tutoring, or taking your clients with you when you (or they) moved. So I started in London from scratch. It always irritated me that clients insisted on working face-to-face and would just disappear once either of us moved - as if I was a doctor! I'd even told a few "what do you think I can do for you face-to-face, that I can't do over Skype?" (Zoom wasn't a thing yet back then).
From actor back to teacher
Either way, this led to me not trying to make a full-time income out of teaching privately until 25. I'd been out of uni for a good 18 months - during which time I'd done all kinds of temp and part-time gigs to keep afloat. I didn't like most of them, even though my bosses were always happy with me and would usually try to give me more shifts. I think the breaking point came when I realized that for months I hadn't had any downtime. I was always either preparing for auditions, or auditioning, or rehearsing, or performing, or working some (usually) soul-sucking office job, or fighting around with FUCKING TFL on my way to or from one of those things. I was burning out and hated my life.
And I had nothing to show for it! I rarely had more than a couple hundred ££ in my bank account, and still lived in a houseshare with four other people, all the way out in Zone 5 (ie. so far from the center, it might as well not be London - we even had a UB postcode instead of a W one). And to a massive introvert like me, this was another layer of "fuck my life" and exhaustion.
SO, after having a weekend where I went over the numbers with myself and talked to a couple of classmates from drama school who, like me, had been language teachers previously...I decided to take the plunge and try to turn that old side-gig into a full-time job. It was scary, but also exciting: what if I could just work for myself, and only do that thing that paid pretty well (certainly better than any of my office gigs - let alone acting), and I could maybe even stay local? Imagine no more being stuck on TFL for half my life! WAIT: IMAGINE being able to work from home! I lived in a big house, and my housemates usually were out during the day and weekends. They said they didn't mind me having students over while they were out!
I gave myself one year to turn this occasional side-hustle into a full-time income. Little did I know how nuts that was, for LONDON of all places, and starting from zero. I'd only saved up 3 months of living expenses 🤣
See, before I entered the "entrepreneurship" world, I had no idea about anything business related. I didn't even do any marketing 'cause I thought that's something only big corporations like Samsung or Coca-Cola do. I had no website, no social media, no business cards. Just some local ads at the library/Tesco/local Greek store, and some Gumtree ads I placed.
But the clients came. Slowly, at first, but then it started snowballing. Turns out, even in a big city like London, people talk. And I did a good job, so students generally stayed for months or even years, and often recommended me to other people.
So it took 10 months to be able to live off it. I still remember: May 2014 - March 2015. I was so impressed with myself. If I could do this, I could do ANYTHING!
(Joke's on me - but that's what youth + ignorance + possibly some beginner's luck will do to you)
Mind you: I wasn't making great money or anything - just enough to survive. Then again, that wasn't any less than I'd been making the previous couple of years, juggling a million things and constantly being overworked, underrested, oversocialized, and yet somehow ALSO never more than a bad month away from being completely broke. At least this time around I wasn't suffering that much for "can just about pay my bills" kinda money. I think I made about £12,500 in that first year - and felt like king of the world.
Uh-oh.
Now, let's fast forward to early 2019. After a honeymoon period of the first couple of years, business growth had stagnated. I was no longer getting significant income bumps year-on-year. I'd tried MANY times to raise my prices so I can hopefully have a better quality of life - not keep renting shitty little rooms in houseshares, never being able to afford anything that wasn't bills, groceries, or TFL. The cost of living was relentlessly rising in London (and still is, from what I hear from friends still there), year-on-year - so the small bumps in income I was making were barely making a difference.
I'd started getting burnt out again. And, what was worse: interest in my bread-and-butter language was waning. Fewer and fewer people seemed to want to learn German every year. The same Gumtree ads that could get me a new client every couple of weeks in my glory days, would now go weeks to months with absolute crickets. And driving my prices down so I could be more affordable wasn't much of a solution, either - I couldn't afford to charge any lower and still have a viable business. Not with how expensive London was, and how bad my mental health was getting from the lack of rest and healthy work/life boundaries.
From teacher to “coach”
And THEN...enter: the "coaches". I honestly can't even remember how I bumped into this world for the first time. I think I might've been googling something like "how can I get more clients without lowering my rates" or "freelancer getting burnt out but still broke", and it led me to the blog of one of those "business coaches". You know the ones: why promise you there IS an abundance of people out there, itching to throw thousands of dollars at you because you're, like, unique and that's your superpower so, like, the Universe and Mindset (TM)...or something. And I got hooked.
And from there, the dominos fell pretty quickly: Facebook groups, more "coaching" blogs, podcasts - oh my! I kept getting suggested social media to market myself. Especially LinkedIn - which, to my knowledge, was just a CV directory. Turns out, while I hadn't been looking it turned into the unstable crack baby of Facebook and Instagram. There were "influencers" on there - people who were so enlightened that they deigned to share their wisdom (like "Water is wet. Agree?👇'“) with us plebes. To thundering applause and "YASSS QUEEEEN"-ing, for some reason.
Anyhoo, I soon got tangled in the web of the various "coaches". BOY, were there coaches upon coaches - business coaches, marketing coaches, branding coaches, 'mindset' (whatever that meant) coaches, clarity (whatever THAT meant!) coaches. There were even coaches who coached coaches on how to be a better coach! But regardless of what label they chose for themselves, their message was roughly the same:
"HAY, bestie! How would YOU like to make six figures this year?
Are you feeling stuck in your current situation? Tired of living an unfulfilling life? Hate your mother and her stupid basement? Well, it's time to Take Massive Action and make a change! You are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to!
Let me show you how *I* went from broke, bald, fat and illiterate to skinny, hairy, rich and happy in only three weeks - just by mindsetting my mindset! 'Cause I did it, And You Can Too! All you need is to Believe In Yourself, NEVAH GIV UPP, and pay me an easy, breezy $1,997. I've helped THOUSANDS of business owners just like you, with my failproof Secret Sexy Secretive Super Sayan Magnetic Money Monkey Manifestation Masturbation Money Masturmind System (TM)!
So drop the excuses and give me ten (grand)! Remember, the only thing standing between you and your dreams is yourself. Invest In Yourself Now and build the business and life of your dreamz! Click HERE to book a FREE 30-minute consultation!"
If you've been in that sphere, you know the drill. So I got on some of these FREE 30-minute consultations...where I was aggressively pitched to. Never bought during the actual sales calls (which, apparently, plenty of people did and do - but then again I'm confrontational so pushing me will just make me dig my heels in 🤣), but eventually my stress, hope for a better future, and "this could and SHOULD be me!" envy from watching people no more qualified and skilled than I Living The Dream, wore me down.
So I bought one "coaching". It was a highly popular LinkedIn "mastermind" with roughly one-hundred-and-five bazillion students. Virtually none of whom got the promised success. But that's fine - probably just me. After all, I'm brand new to this whole businessing-on-social-media thing. I'll get there - the "coach" promised it!
...Except I didn't. Three, six, nine months later...nothing. Even though I buckled down and did everything exactly as taught. 'Cause, as cliche as it sounds: good teachers are often also good students. And I was never a slacker at school - always top of the class, straight-A student, teacher's pet, yadda yadda. When I committed to learning something, I luuuurned it.
And yet: nothing. The "expert" and her teacher's pets - the few who had (ostensibly) gotten results beyond just "mindset shifts" and "feeling more confident" - kept telling me NOT to give up! Just keep going! You're a foot from gold, Nick - I can feel it!!
So I kept up, faithfully following the teachings. I did all the things:
- posted on LinkedIn eleventy times a day
- pitch pitch PITCHED my stuff like my life depended on it - everyone was gonna know what I'm selling, who it's for, and how much it costs, all the time, everywhere. Whether they wanted to or not! After all, the people getting annoyed that I was turning into a Douchy Sellatron 3000 were just JEALOUS of me Showing Up and Owning Muh Wurth! I didn't need them - they weren't my Ideal Client anyway if they were bothered by my relentless self-promotion and oversharing.
- speaking of KnowIng MuH WurTh: I'd doubled my (already above-average for my industry) rates. Believing I can't easily charge £100+ per hour was just a MindSeTt BLuCk. And anyway: I didn't need amateurs and ditherers - I needed people who were ready to Commit, Invest and Manifest (...sound familiar?)!
- I guested on 20+ podcasts in my first year on social media. Got my name out there! Doesn't matter where! Even if it's to podcasts with 3 listeners, none of whom are remotely interested in buying language lessons from strangers on the internet!
- designed High-Ticket OfFers nobody asked for, for £1,000+. Believing nobody in their right mind would pay this much up front for language lessons was just another MINdSeTt BlucK. Thank god they opened my eyes to that!
- shared way too many personal stories on LinkedIn, because PeaPuLl bYe FrUm PeApULl. I needed to inject more more MOAR emotion into everything I posted - really tug at those hearstrings and stop playing small. The introvert in me cringed hard (and cried even harder - often) at how uncomfortable this made me. But, hey - can't have a BrOke MindSeTt when you're an UntrUhRPRUNuEWR.
And so much more, that felt deeply uncomfortable, inauthentic, and gave me MAD anxiety. I felt creepy, gross, manipulative...and angry that I WASN'T MAKING ANY FUCKING MONEY!!! despite feeling creepy, gross, and manipulative all the damn time. But hey: who was I to question these six-figure experts? Their businesses were doing brilliantly despite the recession, and mine wasn't. You don't go to the doctor and argue back when they diagnose you - right?
Over the next 3 years, I did it all. Coachings upon coachings. Sales coachings, business coachings, mindset coachings. Solo coachings and group coachings. Masterminds and workshops. Devoured podcast upon podcast, and business book after business book. Oh, fun fact: I became a "coach" as well. No - didn't quite go all the way and join the pyramid scheme of coaches coaching coaches to coach even more coaches. I became a "public speaking coach" - not a life and/or business one.
This came from me being burnt out from 10+ years of teaching languages, and being overworked through all of them. And from some of my adult (language) clients asking me for interview prep and presentation lessons - 'cause they knew I'd been to drama school as well and knew a thing or two about working an audience. So I thought "hey - this could be more lucrative!" and started offering that as well.
Which went EVEN WORSE - 'cause just like everybody and their sister's dog was offering some kind of success coaching, everybody and their sister's dog was ALSO offering some kind of "public speaking coaching". Most of them didn't have a Master's degree like me, of course - but that didn't matter. On social media, it's mostly about the right branding and possibly also about not being a bald, fat guy who tells you unpleasant things like "it's not about mindset but about technique" and "think of your audience instead of navel-gazing".
Over those three years I spent roughly £4k ($5k) on various "coaches", and got absolutely, 100%, fuck all to show for it. Their crap didn't just not work - it actively backfired. After I took some time off, I understood why that was, of course:
1. influencer crap doesn't work in the service-based business world. You can't "snarling selfie + mindless MindSeTt quote" people into getting their taxes done. Or "overshare and trauma-dump" them into getting presentation training, in my case.
2. most of these success-peddlers were...not successful. I realized too late that most of them were as broke as the people they were so aggressively trying to sell to! And the few that were successful had generally never succeeded in anything other than coaching coaches to coach even more coaches. So the only thing they even could teach me was how to replicate their business model of "selling dreams of success to other success-sellers". If I wanted to stay a humble, decidedly non-guru-fied service provider, my teacher ass had to stop listening to them.
From hustle & grind to “I’m done with this shit”
I quit the whole shebang in June of 2022, after being so badly burnt out that simply logging onto LinkedIn would make me ugly-cry. Told myself I just "needed a break, I'll be back next month". Next month turned into the whole summer.
By September 2022, I had started de-programming. It finally started to sink in how TRULY corrupt, unethical, and just plain batshit crazy that industry was. I felt guilty. I had engaged in some of those manipulative tactics as well - the oversharing, the bizarre pricing, the trying to push people into things they didn't need or even want (to my credit, I didn't actually *succeed* at those things - I think I was unconsciously self-sabotaging).
I started seeking kindred spirits on the internet - had other people gone through the same experience as I had?
Turns out: BOY, HAD THEY EVER. Apparently, my story is so far from unique, it can't even spell "unique" (I don't know what that means, either - just go with it). Reddit, Youtube, Instagram. Thousands of people had stories incredibly similar to mine - even though most of us had been duped by different people. Turns out, that industry is not only corrupt and unethical, it's also incredibly unoriginal and everyone's just doing their best Tony Robbins/Russell Brunson/Amy Porterfield/Marie Forleo impression! Copy/paste, copy/paste.
By January 2023, I'd decided I was immediately done working with "coaches" of that kind. Fired the couple of clients I'd picked up in that world. Went back to purely teaching languages. Stopped calling myself any kind of "coach" because I didn't (and don't) wanna be associated with that world. Went back to charging saner prices that made sense to me considering what clients got. Cut out "friends" from the "coaching" industry.
And I felt so much better for it. And my business is slowly picking back up - sure, part of the slowdown was the pandemic, recession, and all that jazz. But part of it was definitely the ridiculous blueprint I'd learned in the "coaching" industry. Turns out, when you do real, valuable work...clients stay long-term. And recommend you. And slowly bring you more work. Hey - almost like the good ole days in London! No need to scream about your AMAZING OFFAAAR seventeen times a day on LinkedIn. Or try to push everybody and their dog into a FREE 30-MINUTE CALL where you try your best to guilt-trip, shame, and/or scare them into buying something costing £1k+ (that they probably don’t even need). Life is a mystery after all!
From “coach” back to teacher
So here we are: Spring 2024. Happier, calmer, at peace with myself. Spending zero money on "coaches" and spending zero hours per week trying to talk myself into doing another desperate, sleazy thing on LinkedIn (or anywhere) so I can get some clients already. Just a steadily re-growing business and a clear conscience.
If you want to learn German or business English, or need someone to prep you for a presentation at your job - get in touch. I promise I won't try to push you into buying anything if it doesn't feel right to you, or you can't afford me, or you simply don't like me and my smug face.
Unless you're a "coach" - in which case, do NOT get in touch. To book me or even to piss and moan about how this article is shit-talking your entire industry, and wah wah wah. I'm not interested, and we both know you're being deliberately obtuse.
Thanks for reading, if you got this far. And if you have a similar experience and want to share it in the comments - go ahead. If you're Youtuber and want to react to/narrate my story - please get in touch first.
That's all for now - have a good week.
Nick